Friday, December 19, 2008

'The Poacher' Series

A few nights ago at Terroir, it was a typically wine trade oriented crowd: a distributor rep, an importer rep, a shop employee (me), a former importer rep. So the conversation was appropriately wine trade oriented. We geeked out, debated the quality of a certain national importer/ personality's champagne book, and then exchanged stories of one Captain Tumor Man.

There was the recent San Francisco trade tasting where, towards the end of the event, a late arriving merchant requested that a new bottle be opened, acted like a jerk, and in a moment surely to be treasured by long suffering salespeople the world over, was summarily told by our hero Captain Tumor Man to go fuck himself.

Then there was the time that Captain Tumor Man attended a competitor's trade tasting, declared most of the wines to be garbage, found the one producer he liked, and promised that he'd poach that producer in short order. Well, that is exactly what happened. You are so nice, Captain Tumor Man.

So I'm enjoying my day off today, sleeping in, eating baked goods, drinking chai and what not, and thinking that I applaud this brand of confidence bordering on cockiness occasionally shown by east coast wine importers. In fact, I'd like to commemorate their efforts by producing a few 'battle tracks.' You know, some seriously gangsta' wine lyrics (rapped by the importers themselves),or at least choice vocal samples, strategic scratching, hard drums. I will call it 'The Poacher' series. After all, if one can insult another's rapping ability, question his masculinity, or claim to have engaged in sexual intercourse with his girl, why not adjust the insults to the wine world: your palate sucks, you pal around with losers, I'll steal your producer. That's what I'm talking about.
'The Poacher,' vol. 1, coming your way some time in the '09.

UPDATE: While it's always fun to hear dramatic tales of the exciting and competitive wine trade, one needs to remember that often times they are not true. Such is the case in the suggested poaching incident above (see the thread of comments below). I would like to apologize to our hero for any misrepresentation of his hard work gaining the trust of many excellent winemakers and succesfully marketing their wines in the States.


Joe said...

Frankly, I know I'm incapable of horrible deeds, but I have no recollection of the poaching incident. Then again, I'm plagued with a brain tumor and quickly losing memory.

What exactly is this incident? I don't believe it happened.

Joe said...

Sorry, I mean to say I'm capable of horrible deeds!

That damned brain tumor!

Joe Manekin said...

Joe -

Your visit and comments have made my Chanukah! Thank you.

Anyway, as the story goes, you were at a J&F tasting, liked the Chaussard, said you'd go after them then went after them.

Joe said...

The story is untrue. I know Chaussard since 1990. He was unhappy with J&F and wanted to change.

I've never attended a J&F trade tasting in my life.

Sorry to disappoint.

J&F started by poaching wines from Thierry Puzelat from us without letting us know. It wasn't very nice.

I have never poached anyone from anybody.

Joe Manekin said...

Joe -

Sorry to spread a falsehood on this site. I'll correct right now.

And I did not mean to insinuate that poaching is how you have assembled your portfolio.

This holiday season I'll be eating overcooked salmon and drinking clos de briords out of magnum with goyim in Sacramento. Thanks for importing Marc Ollivier and all the other terrific producers you represent.